Thursday, May 29, 2014

Reserving for the deserving

It needs to be no one on the lukewarm roads to make choices wisely. One never knows who will come along and steal your heart away. Reliving the past with half-remembered stories, half-baked lies, and imagined truths only half-discovered the days nothing more than fallen leaves swept up in the cold, hard winds of time. A circle of old friends...coffee hot and bitter arguing over the bill when the eye contacts another, was that your first crush? If that was your first crush then what made you like her/his friend more than your partner, How did the man/lady leave a huge impression that made you think that he/she could have been a ideal partner, Didn’t you think of any other person, other than your partner when the sex cell stimulated you. The thoughts one has for oneself occupies the aura and fills the entire being only to suppress the deserving??

We lust for what we cannot have; I have become a link to the unbroken chain of lovers, who remain unloved for the wanting of love, While I'm near mad with wanting her, As trees must have the sun, I cannot help but find love in her, only to realize that some day she would love someone else, though not more than how much I love her. Even when I am in bed my thoughts rush to her, now and then joyfully, then again sadly, waiting to know whether fate will hear our prayer, to face life we should be together or never see life forever but then, Oh God, why should I be separated from her who is so dear.

Do not know how I got into this situation, why do my words pause with hesitation, is it my overactive imagination. I’m uncomfortable having so much emotion and I don't know from where I got that notion. Sometimes I feel so inundated thinking, is it really that complicated? All I know is good a relation does not need promises, terms and conditions. It just needs two wonderful people “one who can trust and the other who understands” and what if someone broke the trust someday? Trusting the person was my decision. Proving me right is a choice I have given to the person.

Just a line to say I’m living and I'm not amongst the dead. Though I'm getting more forgetful and mixed up in the head. Does it matter? For her my simple words are like summer rain that drums on hills, fields and hearts, and then vanishes again.